


Pit-bottom

by Filliam



Category: Sword Art Online (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Compulsive Heterosexuality, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 02:38:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18437300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Filliam/pseuds/Filliam
Summary: Lisbeth ponders on the meaning of love at different conjuctions of her life.





	Pit-bottom

**Author's Note:**

> Made for SAO Pride Week 2019 - Day 5: Past, Present and Future. I’ve had so many conversations as to why I interpret Lisbeth as a victim of compulsive heterosexuality that it was only a matter of time until I wrote something that delved into it at least a tiny bit. Thanks to thegayfromrulid@tumblr for beta reading.

Lisbeth was 16 years old and at pit-bottom, figuratively and literally.

“You’re alive,” the boy in black says.

That much was true.

That morning, she wondered if that day would’ve been the day she’d rack up enough Col for a second waterwheel. That seemed like a meaningless worry at that moment, as she stared upwards, the foggy canvas of the sky framed by the walls of the hole she and Kirito had fell in.

The cold was oppressive and all-enveloping down there, but it paled in comparison to the still-settling realization as the teleportation crystal ignored her commands:

She was going to die in that pit.

It was so, _so_ unfair. She did everything right. She stuck to the middle floors. She took to the mostly-civilian lifestyle of a blacksmith and enabled those that’d fight for her liberation. She grew her modest alleyway business into a legitimate shop, and she could feel pride whenever she saw her name emblazoned on that copper sign by its entrance.

All of this was made while latching onto the hope that she’d survive this game and go back to the real world.

_And now I’m going to die because I insisted in tagging along with this weirdo._

There were so many things she hadn’t done yet. She wanted to hear her name being announced during roll-call at her graduation ceremony. She wanted to see the Tokyo Skytree. She was considering coursing Engineering at college, despite the demanding entry requirements.

She wanted to kiss someone, just once.

 _Ah,_ she thought. _I didn’t even get to fall in love, did I?_

While they prepared their sleeping bags, she mused for a moment over whom she would fall for had she the chance to so, and wasn’t bound to waste away in icy demise. Shinichi from Class 1-B at her school was cute. Sawamura from her class was okay too, she thinks. Even then, she’d been trapped in Aincrad for over a year, so they’re probably a grade above her now. A shame, really. Rumor has it that Sawamura was a good kisser.

Asuna’s smile flashed in her mind as she catalogued boys, and something in her jolts.

_Is Asuna a good kisser?_

That was an odd thought. Asuna wasn’t a boy.

As panic subsided and she came to terms with her predicament (Kirito’s words, despite his stoic tone, assuaged her fears), her mind stopped wandering too far out. She was stuck down there with this boy she’d met only hours prior, and the world seemed to shrink as the hours went by: there’s nothing beyond this pit, towering walls of frost and cold floor of snow, and him, roguish charm encased in dark leather.

She hungers for warmth, for touch, for romance, for other things she didn’t get to have due to this game. For the opportunities that were stripped away from her. Her sleeping bag, these clothes, can’t keep her warm. She knows they’re nothing but strewn data, calculating code colder than the surrounding ice.

_These won’t do._

_It has to be someone_ , her mind finally registers.

He was the only thing there, other than herself, that was in any way warm.  She asked him to hold her hand, and he did. It was a sensation, real and cozy, that she’d seldom experienced in a world of uncaring numbers.

The closest she’d ever had to this feeling, she realized, came from Asuna’s embrace, casual, deliberate, and always so soothing.

As sleep overtook her and her eyes droop closed, she thought of how worried her best friend must have been for her.

*

*

*

At the following sunrise, she wasn’t dead.

In fact, Lisbeth felt very much alive.

She was sent heavenwards while in the arms of this boy, Kirito, his skin brushing against hers, adrenaline and fire rushing in her veins, inferno of emotion hurling through the sky.

She was invincible in that moment, young and unafraid. Everything about it felt so right. That endless thrill, that beautiful sunset born from the parting of clouds: all coalescing into a book-worthy moment.

 _That must be what love is_. That burning in her chest. Lisbeth was sure of it.

With wind howling in her ears, she decided that she was just going to say it.

“Kirito! You know, I…”

“What?!”

“I love you, Kirito!”

He couldn’t hear her ecstasy-fueled confession, and a part of her was happy about that.

It would have been embarrassing. Yes, that must have been the reason she was happy about it.

It’s what makes sense, after all, when she examines herself, heart blazing in the cold and quickly pumping exhales visible in the frost.

*

*

*

Rika was 18 years old and the aroma of freshly brewed black wafted through the air in Dicey Café. Her and Asuna’s laughter blows on the steam rising from their mugs.

“So… you had a thing for me?” Asuna asked. There was no judgment in her tone.

“Yeah,” Rika said. “Took me a while to figure that one out, though. I guess I couldn’t admit to myself that I liked girls too. And then Kirito was right there, the perfect scapegoat for those feelings.”

She tried to take a first sip from her mug, but the heat bit her tongue. Still too hot.

“He had the whole Mysterious Hero thing going on back then, and we had that wild trip. It got pretty easy to convince myself that I was into him. But when you two started dating, it wasn’t you that I was jealous of…”

Rika stared at Asuna expectantly, then smirked.

“I guess I must have been pretty desperate for a love story, if I tricked myself into liking _him_.”

Without missing the cue, Asuna elbowed Rika.

“He’s still my boyfriend, you know!”

Rika laughs at Asuna’s indignation, and Asuna laughs at Lis laughing at her. The blacksmith’s crude laughter was nothing if not infectious.

Their shared laughter reminds her that Asuna loved her, in the same way she’s always had. And that she still loved Asuna, albeit in a different way than back in Aincrad.

Rika is unsure of what love is, but she thinks that’s a good thing. Maybe the answer isn’t meant to come easy. It’s been two years since the ice dragon incident, and if there’s one thing any SAO Survivor understands is: a couple of years can change everything.

At the very least, it’s enough for a change in perspective. It’s a boost in maturity, as small as it is, that makes her understand that love is not something you seek in desperation, blurting out mindlessly in a moment between life and death. It’s probably something softer, found in the touch of a friend, amidst inside jokes and shared moments of joy like this. And probably not at the bottom of a pit.

Asuna was her best friend, both in Aincrad and in real life. Keiko never missed a day to share recess with her. Klein would take her teasing with little to no complaint. Agil offered her a part-time job at the bar last week, when she turned eighteen.

And, despite everything she says, she has a soft spot for Kirito. He’s a good friend. She’d never say that to his face, though, in fear of his head getting too big for his body.

She doesn’t need to hunger for love, as long as she has these connections.

If the other kind of love knocks at her door, though, then all the better.

The bell by the door chimes, and Asuna and Lis both turn on her stools, sure of who’s there before their vision catches them.

Kirito stands by the entrance and greets the both of them, unaware that he was a topic in their conversation moments ago.

From his side, a bespectacled girl sheepishly waves. 

**

Rika is 22 years old, and she’s late to her part-time job.

It’s not her fault, though. There’s a dog in the apartment.

“Puppy!” Rika coos.

The Japanese Akita simply stares at her, a bit too stoically for a dog, dark slits for eyes betraying nothing.

Shino, sporting her police uniform, stops Lis’s hand as she offers him a corn chip.

“He can’t eat that. He might get sick. He’s got work to do.”

Shino’s dream of becoming a police officer came true, and she’s glad she has enough of a handle on her hoplophobia to manage it. She’s surprised that she was approved into the dog handler unit in her first try, though.

“Hecate is a police official, Rika. You should show him some respect.”

 _Hecate_? Lis considers teasing her on the name, but concludes otherwise. Shino had her reasons.

Perhaps her face gives her thoughts away, however, because Shino justifies herself.

“Yes, Hecate. He’s my partner, after all.” She manages not to look embarrassed.

Rika giggles. She at times pondered over how come she and Shino wound up together, when she herself scorches like a furnace, hot-red emotion barely contained in her body, while Shino, comparatively, runs cold like the steel that forms the barrel of a firearm.

The blacksmith fancied herself gunpowder.

“I don’t know. Maybe he’d look cuter if he was fat,” Rika threatens. “Big, fat boy.”

She flicks a chip from the bag she was eating into the air. Hecate, shooting up as if a bullet from the homonymous sniper rifle, springs towards the airborne target, corn and wheat meeting trained teeth in a satisfying crunch. His canine expression remains dutifully cold, even as he chews on it.

Shino tries to grimace, but it’s hard while trying to kill a laugh at the same time. She changes the topic, a pair of fingers pressed to her temple.

“Shouldn’t you be at work instead of poisoning the new dog? Agil is going to give you an earful again.”

Rika smirks smugly, and there’s a bit of Lisbeth in that smile.

“It’s okay, he loves me!” She positions a proud hand over her chest. “I’m his only company in that dingy bar.”

Despite her cheeky reply, she puts on her boots faster. Even if her parents are helping with her tuition, she still needs to pull her weight. Engineering is a course with hefty tuition fees.

After a roughly affectionate tussle to the dog’s fur and a quick peck to Shino’s cheek, she runs out the door.

Now an adult, Rika can forgive her younger, juvenile self; that old definition of love, troubadour and romantic, feels endearing in its foolishness. She has a hard time appreciating that romanticized romance now, though, as she gets to bask in what she has available to her now: the domesticity in sharing as well as the presence of her friends. Now that her hunger is sated, her vision clears to what matters.

Her connection to them, all of them, must be what love is.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I wanted to go a little into the idea of found family with this one; I hope I managed to do it properly. While I think shipping people in the SAO gang together is fun, the most interesting aspect of their dynamic to me is that they're basically a big family, so I was trying to be kinda like, "she learned that thing about herself and she found romantic love but also: love, in all of its forms, is important,," or something along those lines.


End file.
